i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
