the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
