I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
