dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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