I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
