Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
