I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
