This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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