you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
