my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
everyone is single if you try hard enough
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
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