Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
