I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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