I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
