dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
