she was so not down for the gang bang
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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