he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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