Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
