I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
