That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
