I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
420 ftw
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
