I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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