i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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