The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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