DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
