It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
