trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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