as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
