pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
