so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
