We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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