I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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