My nipple is on Facebook.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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