Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you win again, gameday.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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