Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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