12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The best revenge is premature balding
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
