So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
