3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
