If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
