this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
