haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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