Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
