i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Randomize
