Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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