fuck your aforementioned shoe
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
