its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
