yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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