they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
