Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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