his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
