Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
