Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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