i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
