I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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